Living
by BigBlackEyes
Summary: Edwards POV from when he becomes a vampire till when he saves Bella in Port Angeles. Hope you enjoy! Please reveiw but be nice this is my first fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

**Hiya this is just a story on Edward Cullen's life hope u guys enjoy!**

**I dont own the characters. (Just want to make that clear)**

**Born Again**

Sweat ran down my forehead as my temperature went up. My mind was foggy and nothing was clear. A cloud of depression hung over me getting bigger and bigger. My chest heaved up and down since my breathing wasn't even. The type of thing that happens when one is about to die.

I was in a long white room. A hospital room dying from Spanish Influenza. I was all alone as my parents were in a different ward. I thought about sleeping to pass the time but that was impossible in the state I was in. My bed was like a lumpy and badly stuffed cot but longer as I was taller than many boys my age. I was only 17. Surely that was too young to die. God apparently didn't think so. Every few hours a nurse would come and tend to me but I could see in their faces that they thought it was a waste of time and that I was without any doubt going to die. Nobody had faith in I Edward Anthony Mason except one.

Suddenly interrupting my daydreaming I saw a doctor start to saunter towards me. He name was Doctor Cullen. Apparently he was the best doctor in Chicago. I privately agreed. Doctor Cullen had blond hair that was nearly white. His eyes were the color of melting honey with a bit of brown around the edges. Most of the nurses said he looks like a Greek god rather than what he should look like an, old doctor with thinning hair.

Soon Doctor Cullen was by my side with a grave look on his face. This is it. I thought. He is going to tell me that I am going to die and that there was no chance in the world that I would recover. I shuddered at the concept. "Mr. Mason" He started sadly. "I would like to inform you that your mother and father have died from the disease and their last wish was to make sure that you don't go the same way."

The doctor went quiet for a moment as I thought: No. They can't have died they can't have. They were so close to me, so special... I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes but I blinked them away and then took a deep breath. " I want to live." I said tiredly but determinedly and then started again. " What are you going to do Doctor?"

Doctor Cullen didn't answer my question he just muttered extremely quietly "There is only one way. I hope I am the one strong enough. This is the first time."

He stopped then said louder "Let us hope for victory."

Then even before he finished his sentence he advanced to my neck. Soon I could feel his warm breath on throat tickling me ever so slightly. Long pale fingers locked my neck in place and then his cold lips met the hollow base of my throat.

At that moment long, sharp teeth sunk into my flesh

**_Plz Plz Plz Review so I know that u liked it also if I had made any mistakes reveiw so I will know_**

**_Plz_**

**_Review_**

**_Love (I'm not lez kay!)_**

**_BigBlackEyes_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Hiya again. C'mon guys 9 hits and 2 reveiws? Well anyway hope you guys like this chapter =)_**

**2. Finding out**

The pain was excruciating. Much worse than terrible. Then I felt something get injected into my veins. It was burning like the hottest fire you could imagine. I could feel it gradually spread through my bloodstream. It got worse because Doctor Cullen didn't withdraw from my throat so more and more was getting injected to my veins. I screamed out in pain but not before the doctor clamped his hand on top if my mouth imprisoning the sound. Then I engulfed in black.

_**2 Days Later…**_

All my limbs were throbbing and all I could remember was that firey pain in my veins. Every moment of it I experienced I wished for death. Death wouldn't hurt so much. Death surely had to much better than _that_.

"Edward, Edward are you alright?" His voice was low and frantic and barely audible but I heard just right. I opened my eyes quickly and was shocked at how everything became clearer and outlined. Different from just minutes ago. I sat up quickly to find the Doctor leaning over me with awe and wonder showing in his face.

_I can't believe I did it. _I heard his voice say but his lips hadn't moved.

"Can't believe you did what?" I asked curiously

" W-what?" For once the Doctor was caught off guard.

" You said you can't believe you did something"

" You read my mind Edward you heard what I was thinking."

This time _I_ was caught off guard. **What was going ON!**

"Edward you're a vampire"

"H-how" This was just all too much

I hope he doesn't get angry. Again I could hear his voice but his lips hadn't moved once.

"Why do you hope I won't get angry?"

Instead of answering my question in a very serious voice he said. " Edward. I am going to tell you a story. A story of my life" He took a deep breath then launched into explanation. "I was born in what we think was the sixteen-forties. My father led protests for witches, werewolves and … vampires" At this point his voice was a whisper. "My dad was quick to accuse and he would burn anyone he thought was a witch, werewolf or vampire. He then died and I had to lead the protests. I wasn't quick to accuse and I did find a real coven of vampires and they were weak from hunger. They jumped on me and bit me leaving me bleeding on the street. I escaped and hid under a rotting sack of potatoes as the change was happening. I tried to kill myself but saw it was useless. I only hunt animals but after a while I got lonely and I saw you dying. Your parents want you to live and you will but you will always stay 17."

I then looked in my mirror and saw long sharp teeth. My teeth. The teeth of a monster.

" Y-you made me a _monster_! That's not what I want to be! I don't want to kill! It's wrong!" Now I had started running. Surprised at how fast I was but the Doctor soon caught up to me as I wasn't trying that hard. I was still clouded in shock.

"Edward. I know it is hard to know you are monster but at least you will not be killing humans. As long as you don't hunt them you won't have to be a _monster_ you could be just like human again."

I softened up. I knew how he felt, he must be lonely not having a companion. Looking in the mirror again I saw that my eyes were bright red. Not the green I was used to.

Suddenly the Doctor was right behind me. In a soft voice he said "Edward it's time to hunt."

"What?" I was stunned by what he had said.

"Edward are you thirsty?"

Suddenly I felt venom well up in my mouth. I felt the feeling of thirst. I was surprised so all I could do was nod.

"Well then. Let's go."

_**Please Please reveiw! I will update more often mabye 2 or 3 times a day! hint hint**_

**_Love_**

**_BigBlackEyes_**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hey guys recognise the chappie name? yeah i know but I dont own the characters. Hope u guys enjoy!_**

**3. First Hunt**

Cold wind blew in my face as we raced towards the woods. I was much faster than the Doctor. I was nearly going wild with thirst but I tried hard to control it. I started interrogating the Doctor to put my mind off it.

_That was much better than expected. I thought I would've had to track him down._

I was getting used to reading the doctor's mind but it always shocked me that I was able to do it. It always felt like I had been blocked out and it was my brain working on it's own accord.

"Doctor-"

"Call me Carlisle"

"Carlisle" It felt different calling him by his first name. " Why can I hear what others are thinking? How does it work?"

Carlisle went quiet for a moment. Thinking, in my opinion. Carlisle then started talking quietly. " I am not quite certain why. I only have a theory." He paused then started again. " In your human life you were probably very sensitive to your thoughts and the ones to the people around you. Because of that you have got your extra sense."

I was still extremely curious and wanted to ask Carlisle more questions but that was impossible. As soon as I opened my mouth to ask another question he spoke.

"We have reached our destination!" He exclaimed in a victorious voice.

Our running had led us to the opening into the woods. We slowed our pace and walked in wondering what we might find in the bushes.

Soon we were in the heart of the forest. The trees stood proudly and blocked the grey sky from sight. Everything was wet and green except for the thin path that we were walking on. Faint rustling in the bushes made me flinch and turn around. A graceful gazelle then leapt out of the bushes and then stopped. It's eyes locked on Carlisle and me. I looked at Carlisle in a way that said: should I do it? Carlisle spread his hand out in the direction of the gazelle as to say: Go ahead. It's all yours. Then let my sense of smell took over me. The gazelle smelt like pine…or maybe cinnamon. Instinctively I reacted. Leering towards the animal's neck biting down with my new teeth and sucking blood from the wound frantically.

After I had felt I had drunken my fill I let go of the gazelle and let it fall out of my grasp. Quite dead. I then felt a wave of guilt wash over me but I know Carlisle would've said "It's the only way to keep yourself from feeding on the humans you are with each day." I turned around and wanting to be polite I said " What about you?"

Carlisle replied, " Let us go deeper and find what we _really_ desire. Your eyes haven't quite gone the right color yet. You need more."

Carlisle was right but I didn't know if I could kill anymore-innocent creatures but something in my thirst made me follow. It was going to take a long time to control this feeling.

We ventured deeper into the woods. Soon the path was engulfed in greenery. Every plant was more plentiful and growing better. Every so often something would leap out at us and we would feed on it. My guilt stopped haunting me.

We started running again and in a matter of time we reached a clearing in the woods and in that clearing there was a sleeping pride of mountain lions. I gasped silently taking in the image. Again my sense of smell controlled me. They smelt much better than that gazelle. I quickly and silently crept over to them and slowly put my lips to on one neck letting my teeth bite in gradually. The taste hit my lips and I started sucking it more aggressively. Carlisle was beside me doing the same thing to another lion. Something happened while I was still feeding and it happened so fast _I'm_ not sure it even happened. The leader of the pack awoke and saw us slowly killing his pride. He came at us ripping my shirt down the middle exposing me. Carlisle was the same. His coat was in shreds.

Carlisle started running out of the clearing and back into the forest. I did the same catching up quickly. My first hunt didn't go as nicely as I had planned.

_**Reveiw Reveiw. Please? Thanks! =)**_

**_Love_**

**_BigBlackEyes_**


	4. Chapter 4

** used to it**

We ran back in silence. Both of us embarrassed by the past happenings. Finally we came to my house. I started running up the lawn but something caught my ruined shirt.

"Where do you think you are going?" Carlisle asked clearly irritated

"Home" I retorted in the same fashion

_I really should've known._ Carlisle thought

"Known what?" Though I already had the gist of what was coming.

"Edward. I thought than when I explained you were a vampire I thought you would understand."

I was shocked. _I_ knew I understood. He should be grateful that when he told me I didn't rip him to shreds.

"Now that you're a vampire your going to have to live with me and act like my adopted son." He then finished in a no-nonsense tone that made me do exactly what he said. "You have ten minutes to pack. Then we will go back to the hospital to pick up the car and we will go home."

I stared at him in shock

"Go, go! We don't have much time. Make haste!"

I definitely made haste. So much haste I nearly tripped over my feet. I got into my room and raided it packing the first things my hands touched. My usually tidy blue bedroom looked much emptier and exposed. My bedroom was fairly small. I had a desk that was piled with paper and I had an unusually long bed for my growth spurts. That would all stop now I thought sadly. I grabbed my overflowing bags and raced out the door before I could give in to my emotions.

Carlisle was out side looking impatient. He was sitting in his Volkswagen. It looked new. When you got close enough you could smell it was new to.

"Since when did you have the time to get this from the hospital?" I asked with awe and wonder.

"Well you took an infuriatingly long time so I ran down to the hospital and got this." He explained in brisk way.

I was hurt. I didn't take _that_ long. Not even 5 minutes. I tried hard not to let the hurt show on my face. To keep it away I tried to calculate how many miles per hour he had gone. With my arithmetic expertise I calculated her went at about 150 miles per hour.

I gasped and Carlisle nodded in a knowing way.

"When you become a vampire you always want to do everything with speed. It will feel perfectly natural."

He was right. We were going 100 miles per hour although I wasn't scared we were going to crash, it felt perfectly normal.

In a matter of minutes were at his house. I was stifled a gasp. It was like a tall grey tower. It looked very open with lots of circular windows. Carlisle didn't say anything he just let me take in the scene. The sun had come out and its glowing rays warmed my granite body, which was always unpleasantly cold.

Carlisle came right up to me and touched my shoulder as a signal to turn around which I did. When I turned around I was in too much shock to make a sound. His shirt was unbuttoned showing his perfectly toned chest. What shocked me was that every bit of his exposed skin that was in the sun's glow sparkled like diamonds had been imbedded in his stone chest. It was an incredible sight. Shocking at the same time though. I wondered if I looked like that. Obviously I did…

My daydreaming was then interrupted. Someone was coming.

"Quick! Inside so I can explain!" Carlisle gabbled frantically.

I grabbed my suitcase and ran into his house. Inside it was different. More private than the outside. It wasn't much different to my house actually.

I dumped my luggage in the longer than necessary hallway and headed to the sitting room. The room had fitted rocking chairs and iron like throne that gave a medieval feel to the room. When I got there I saw Carlisle already sitting with an empty coffee table in front of him. He gestured towards me to sit down and then answered all my questions.

"The myth about us saying that we get burned in the sun it false but for the reason I showed you we shouldn't go out on sunny days. Also for further reference we vampires can't sleep. No one knows why it is just one of those things we will never know the answer to."

He had answered my question about the sun but vampires can't _sleep_! Wouldn't we get tired? I wouldn't get used to that in a hurry.

Carlisle then left me to unpack and get sorted. My bedroom was small. With a desk and no bed. It looked different without one. I unpacked and sat at my desk. My head in my hands and groaned.

This was going to be the start of a long new life and I knew I wouldn't like it.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Hi again. I got absoulotely NO reveiws for the last chapter but the hits went up by 10! again hope u like. Did you know that yesterday was national left handed day. Dont ask me how i know that. (hehe)_**

**5. Finding Esme**

_A few decades later__**…**_

The last few decades had been uneventful we had moved again and again to gloomy cities whenever I had finished high school as I had to repeat the procedure again and again. After a while it becomes pretty tedious.

One day at lunch as usual I was sitting by myself in the London High School cafeteria. A gloomy place with dirty white tables and chairs and always had the smell rotten eggs or sizzling fat lingering in the air. By now I was sensitive to everyone's smell and didn't sit with him or her in case I fed on them.

I had my usual tray of untouched food in front of when the school seceratary Miss Lee came in and said in a fluttery voice "Oh Cullen! Your fathers on the phone, he wants to speak to you."

I was always uncomfortable in front of her. She would bat her eyelashes and smile in a sickening fashion. As we went to the office I got a got a good look at her thoughts. They told me to steer clear of her for a while.

Maybe I should ask him to go to the pictures with me.

_He isn't really much younger than me and I am quite pretty._

She was quite wrong there!

I don't care what Miss Heaves says that I won't get him! I will! She's a –

By this time I was disgusted too much to hear more. Thankfully we were in the office at this time. "Well _**Mr. Cullen**_come, here's the phone."

Mrs Cullen, Mrs Cullen, Mrs Cullen. That will be ME!

She _really_ doesn't have a brain!

I gingerly took hold of the bulky instrument carefully avoiding her hand. Then I clamped the thing to my ear worried at what might come next.

"Carlisle?" I said questioningly and worriedly at the same time

"Edward I need you to come to the hospital _now_ something has happened and it isn't anything bad but just get her quickly!" He sounded excited and scared at the same time if that was possible.

I jumped to it double time, asking that disgusting Miss Lee to excuse me from my classes and then I was in my car and off. My car was Carlisle's old Volkswagen. It seemed to be his faveourite brand.

In 2 minutes I was at the hospital and directed to the hospital morgue. I did not want to know what was coming next. When I went in I saw Carlisle leaning over a sleeping body. It was so still you would've thought it was dead if you couldn't hear her slow rasping breathing. The morgue looked horrid. There were lots of dead bodies with sheets pulled right over their heads.

"What happened?" I asked worriedly curious

Before Carlisle could answer she started writhing in pain but only talking softly saying " My baby, my baby" Over and over.

"She jumped of a cliff. We took her here straight away but I could still hear her heart beat so I…. Bit her." He finished quietly.

"She took it worse than you. She opened her eyes as soon as I bit her and she screamed for all she was worth, writhing uncontrollably before she fell into unfriendly slumber. I think she jumped of a cliff because her baby died."

I was shocked. I now had a new mother or sister. She looked only about 29 like Carlisle. It was like meeting Snow White. She looked so much like her.

"It's time to move her." Carlisle stated breaking my train of thought.

"Move her where?" I asked dumbfounded

"To our home. From now she lives with us."

Then as if she was as light as a feather he scooped her up bridal-style and ran to the car park. Carlisle took her in his car and I followed him in mine.

When we got home we took her to the guest bedroom. The only room with a bed. Carlisle gently laid her down and tucked her in. Then he turned back to me.

"Her names Esme. You will stay home tomorrow and help me explain to her. The change should stop at 11 o clock tomorrow and she should wake up half an hour after that."

_**Please reveiw. Remember I will update more if you do! So please REVIEW!**_

**_Love xoxoxox_**

**_BigBlackEyes_**


End file.
